Steroids in sports have a very controversial issue because there are so many athletes who use these performance-enhancing drugs. Authorities, high ranking officials in sports, seem perplexed when it comes to this issue because they do not know what to do to those who take these drugs. One side states that steroids are the new and enhanced formula for peek performance while the other side states that steroids are unethical as well as unfair. Then there’s the parent side that’s worried about their children who play sports because they don’t want them taking these performance enhancement drugs either. Even though there are conflicting opinions on the matter, the only reasonable thing to do is ban these drugs permanently and create harsher punishments for those who engage in such activities. These penalties might even include a jail sentence, larger fines, greater suspensions and even expulsion from the sport that athlete is involved with.
The reason why steroids are the most controversial issue in present athletics is because of its potency and effectiveness. With steroids, athletes can increase their strength insurmountable amounts within a very short time. They want results as fast as possible and the quickest way to get these results is through performance-enhancing drugs. The speed, energy, endurance, agility, strength, power and explosiveness it can provide an athlete, proposes the argument over the legality of steroids. One-article states, “The Mitchell Report fingered 89 professional ball players, but many of these allegations were nothing new for baseball watchers.” One side believes that steroids should be a part of the game because they make better athletes, which will make the crowd happy. For example, the year Mark McGuire hit 70 homeruns, baseball ratings were at an all time high that year because of the excitement of all the homeruns Sammy Sosa, ex-Chicago Cub, and Mark McGuire were hitting.
However, the other side of the picture presents the statement that states steroids are unethical as well as unfair. People still believe that these drugs are a form of cheating and in that case should be banned completely. Most people are all about the natural athlete that engages in hard work to increase his/her performance. According to the article, “Steroids, Sports and the Ethics of Winning,” “Society cares because steroid use is a form of cheating. Since steroids work so well, they create an unfair advantage for those who take them, and this breaks the social contract athletes have implicitly agreed to: We are going to have a fair contest.” A majority of the fans that watch athletic competition always want things to be fair so when a person takes these drugs, they really have a problem with it.
Parents are actually the most concerned with this issue because the whole reason they got their kids involved in sports is to keep their children away from bad influences such as drugs. How can they now, with all this hype on steroids teenagers are going to want that edge too so they can get drafted into a professional sport. The old perspective on sports was that parents highly enticed their children to play sports because they wanted their children to stay away from bad influences and bad behavior. Sports were where all the disciplined kids were, according to parental thinking, but not anymore because steroids play a huge role in tarnishing that reputation for sports.
There really is only one thing to do when it comes to preventing steroids from scattering anymore. Harsher penalties should be instilled so players will be deterred from ever using them again. More frequent drug tests should be placed in the system along with hormonal level testing so players cannot get away with human growth hormone use. There is nothing ethical about these drugs because they are just forms of cheating. So for those who try to cheat, should be admonished for their actions. Penalties that even reach a governmental level can be in store for the player who decides to take illegal substances of this extent. Also, larger fines as well as greater suspensions can really affect a player because they’ll feel ashamed of themselves, which will positively reinforce them to never d it again. Expulsion can be placed in the system as well but only when extreme measures call for it.
Overall, steroids are a negative aspect of sports that we, as a society, will not have to deal with if we increase the punishments for those who decide to take these drugs. Even though there are many arguments, which persist, people should definitely know that steroids never existed originally and therefore should be completely vanquished from the game.
Robert Bernardo
ReplyDelete1 A. This essay will deal with the issue of steroids in sports, and how to deal with it.
B. The writer feels that steroids should be banned, and harsher punishments should be imposed.
C. He tells how so many athletes are involved, and how it even has an effect on children and parents. More of a hook could be used.
D. The paragraph gives all of the information needed, possibly it could be a little more catchy and appealing by adding one example.
2. He tells about how parents got their children involved with sports to keep them away from drugs. Also, how sports should be fair, and how steroids make it unfair.
3. The counterargument is that steroids make athletes do thigns they would never be able to do, and this sells tickets.
4A. He tells about how a home run record sold so many tickets, and how that was done through steroids.
B. The point about parents and children being involved because that is something many could relate to.
C. Weakest would be the argument that brings up the Mitchell Report, because non baseball fans do not know what that is.
D. They are organized correctly.
E. How some people rather steroids in sports because they like to be entertained.
F. Telling about a player who benefitted from the use of steroids.
5. Steroids in sports is a very controversial issue. Authorities, high ranking officials in sports, seem confused on how to handle this situation. One side states that steroids are the new and enhanced formula for peek performance while the other side states that steroids are unethical as well as unfair. Then there’s the parent side that’s worried about their children who play sports because they don’t want them taking these performance enhancement drugs either. I feel as if steroids should be completely banned, and stricter penalties should be imposed. These penalties might even include a jail sentence, larger fines, greater suspensions and even expulsion from the sport that athlete is involved with.
6. However, the other side of the picture presents the statement that states steroids are unethical as well as unfair. The opposing view is that steroids are unethical and unfair. Even though there are conflicting opinions on the matter, the only reasonable thing to do is ban these drugs permanently and create harsher punishments for those who engage in such activities. There is only one way to solve this problem, harsher punishments must be imposed.
7. Steroids in sports have a very controversial issue because there are so many athletes who use these performance-enhancing drugs. Steroids in sports is a very controversial because so many athletes use performance-enhancing drugs.
1.
ReplyDeleteA. The use of steroids in sports.
B. The author is for the implementation of harsher punishments for those who use steroids in sports.
C. I wasn’t hook as much by this introduction as the writer didn’t provide any strong or insightful facts or example to prove to me that steroid was indeed unethical and unfair.
D. I think the author should begin his introduction by stating his argument as it wasn’t until the third to last paragraph that I realized what is argument was.
I also believe that the writer needs to give some more reasons as to why he thinks that steroid use is unethical and unfair.
2
• Unfair and unethical-rob the game of its fairness and promotes cheating
• Bad influence on children.
3.
• Steroids are seen as the new and enhanced formula for great performance.
• Improve speed, energy, endurance, strength and power.
• Pleases the fans and supporters.
4.
A. I believe that the way in which the author dealt with the opposition was not presented in a way that showed he’s really oppose to the use of steroids but more like stating two sides of an argument and what other people think without taking a side.
B. When he mentions expulsion as a form of punishment for the use of steroids. No true athlete would want to be permanently excluded from a game he/she truly love and cherish. I however thought that the writer didn’t explain this point in his essay.
C. The suggestion of larger fines as a means of harsher punishment for those athletes who uses steroids. Athletes receive really huge pay and as such paying off a fine wouldn’t be such a big deal to them and how high can a fine be?
D. I believe that the writer should try to incorporate the counterarguments with his own arguments such as : some believe that steroids use allow from the improving of ones speed and power but at the same time it robs the game of its fairness and real competition .
I also believe that some of the harsher punishment that the writer mentioned in the introductory paragraph was not mention in the body of the essay
E. Bad role model for children-teaching children that it is alright to cheat .
F. Provides greater revenues –more people would come out to games to watch their team win
5. Harsher punishments should be implemented for those athletes who use steroids. Steroids use in sports has become a very controversial issue. High officials in sports seem to be very cross-pulled when it comes to this issue. On one side some believe that steroids has become the new and enhanced formula for peak performance and as such it should be allowed while others believe that steroids are unethical as well as unfair .Then there are parents who oppose the taken of steroids as they don’t want their child to take these enhancing drugs. Steroid use is very immoral and unethical. Taking steroid is a form of cheating .It’s immoral as the idea of hard work and perseverance to succeed is completely ignored. The fairness of the game and true competition is also overlooked. The penalties for those who use steroids should include a jail sentence and even expulsion from the sport that athlete is involved with. These would prevent an athlete from taken part in a game he / she truly loves and admires and as such one would do anything it takes to prevent this from happening and it may include stop using steroids.
6. The reason why steroids are the most controversial issue in present athletics is because of its potency and effectiveness. The reason why steroids has become one of the most controversial issue in sports is because of how effective it can be.
A majority of the fans that watch athletic competition always want things to be fair so when a person takes these drugs, they really have a problem with it. Many fans believe in the fairness of the game and because of this they are strongly against the use of steroids.
7. I think the writer needs to use another word for scattering
I also think that simpler words could have been used instead of insurmountable and admonished as they don’t fit in the context they are used.
This essay is going to be about steroid use in the sports industry. The writer feels steroid use should be banned permanently and harsher punishments should be put into action for anyone who chooses to use steroids as a sports performance enhancer. The introduction did not “hook” me as a reader. I think the writer should rework the thesis statement because steroids are already banned from the sports industry, so there is no argument there. The writer should solely just focus on his belief that there should be harsher punishments for athletes who choose to ignore the ban on steroids. This should be the thesis. He should also incorporate his arguments into the introduction and expand on the one about children looking to athletes as role models. Perhaps, he could provide a statistic about the amount of children using steroids in the United States.
ReplyDeleteThe writer’s arguments are:
*Athletes using steroids put forth the idea to children that steroid use is ok.
*Steroid use promotes cheating.
*Harsher punishments on steroid use will decrease the amount of athletes using steroids.
The counterargument is that steroids make athletes perform better which makes for better games for the fans. The writer doesn’t really deal with the opposition. He simply focuses on proving his argument correct without proving the counterargument wrong. The writer’s strongest point is about children wanting to use steroids because their favorite athlete does. The children of today are being shaped to be the next generation to lead this country. These children can be influenced by people they respect and this includes role models. Role models that are athletes should want to teach children about honesty and integrity. Athletes should not underestimate the impact their actions have on the children that look up to them. The weakest point is that steroid use promotes cheating because if almost all players start to use steroids it wouldn’t be cheating anymore because everyone would have the same advantage. Besides, things like age, flexibility, and endurance sometimes play to an athlete’s advantage over their opponent or fellow teammate and no one seems to care about that. The writer should strengthen this point or eliminate it and replace it with the point that steroids tarnish a sport’s reputation of being pure and honest. I think the organization of the arguments is fine.
Another strong point would be that placing harsher punishments on steroid use could cause athletes to spend more time training and improving their skills. It can push athletes to train harder and to reach their full potential as players. It is more rewarding for someone to know that they accomplished something due to hard work and dedication. One counterargument could be that making steroid use legal could mean big business and even sponsorship from companies that make steroids. There has to be money for games, uniforms, equipment, and telecasts. Promoting steroid use and the companies that make them could help bring in more money to the sports industry.
ReplyDeleteThe thesis statement could be rewritten as the following: “The sports industry should create harsher punishments for athletes who ignore the ban on steroids.”
Two sentences that can be revised are: “Steroids in sports have a very controversial issue because there are so many athletes who use these performance-enhancing drugs. Authorities, high ranking officials in sports, seem perplexed when it comes to this issue because they do not know what to do to those who take these drugs.”
They could be written to be: “Steroid use by athletes in the sports industry has been a controversial issue. High ranking officials in the sports industry are unsure of how to properly punish the athletes found guilty of taking steroids.”
I would suggest that the writer work on not sounding “like a college student” with the use of words like “potency” or “insurmountable”. He should concentrate on finding his voice in the essay. Also, work on transitions between paragraphs because it feels a bit like the writer is hopping from one idea to the next. There is not a “fluid-like” way about the essay and there should be.
1.a. The Use of Steroids in sports
ReplyDeleteb. He is for a harsher punishment to steroid users
c. The intro doesnt really have a hook butsince im am interested in this topic, I was interested in it but to another person who might not be, this is noy good enough.
d. I feel that the author should put their position on the issue earlier on in the paragraph.
2. he says its unfair and that its a bad influence.
3. The counter argument is that steroids improve performance and hence pleases fans which sells tickets.
4.a) The writer doesn't really prove the opposition wrong.
b) The strongest point is about children being influenced by steroid use because they look up to athletes.
c)The weakest point was the larger fines because athletes get tons of money so I dont feel this woul be a good way to punish them for it.
d)I feel like the organiztion is fine.
e) how some people rather steroids for entertainment
f)One counterarguement would be that more steroid use promotes more fans, better revenues.
5) Another thesis statemnt : The sports industry should place larger fines on those athletes who are found to be under the influence of steroids.
6) Two Statements that can be revised are 1)"However, the other side of the picture presents the statement that states steroids are unethical as well as unfair. " This could be instead " Tho opposition sates that steroids are unethical as well as unfair"
2)"Authorities, high ranking officials in sports, seem perplexed when it comes to this issue because they do not know what to do to those who take these drugs" this could be " Sports officials do not know what to do when it comes to the issue ofr steroid use"
7)My suggestion would be to come up with a stronger arguement to prove his point. Also, the writer focuses on speaking too collegey .
Amanda Wright
ReplyDelete1.
A.
The essay is going to be about steroid use in sports.
B.
The writer is against steriod use in sports.
C.
The introduction hooks my attention because he states how parents are afraid of their kids doing the drugs, and he thinks that there should be greater punishments for those who use steriods.
D.
The introduction is good.
2.
The arguments are that it enhances the athletes abilitlies, steriods are unethical and unfair, parents wanted their kids in sports to stay away from drugs
3.
A counterargument is that if the athletes perform better the ratings will be higher,
4.
A.
The writer doesn't deal with the counterargument that much, he only has one counterargument.
B.
The writer's strongest point is that he uses examples as how the use effects high school and college students to take steroids also.
C.
The writer's weakest point is he only deals with one aspect of the counterargument. I think the author should research a little about why people feel that steriods should be allowed in professional sports.
D.
The essay is organized in a well manner, that makes sense and helps prove his thesis.
E.
Another argument that the writer doesn't address is that steriods can be dangerous to the athlete's health.
F.
Another counterargument could be about players who have benefitted from steriod use.
5.
Steroids in sports have a very controversial issue because there are so many athletes who use these performance-enhancing drugs. Authorities, high ranking officials in sports, seem perplexed when it comes to this issue because they do not know what to do to those who take these drugs. One side states that steroids are the new and enhanced formula for peek performance while the other side states that steroids are unethical as well as unfair. Then there’s the parent side that’s worried about their children who play sports because they don’t want them taking these performance enhancement drugs either. Even though there are conflicting opinions on the matter, the only reasonable thing to do is ban these drugs permanently and create harsher punishments for those who engage in such activities. These penalties might even include a jail sentence, larger fines, greater suspensions and even expulsion from the sport that athlete is involved with.
*Steroid use in sports is a very controversial issue because there are so many athletes who use them. Authorities, seem to be confused with what the consequences should be for those who get caught using steriods. One sides states that steriouds are the new and enhanced formula for peek performance. The opposing view is that steroid use in professional sports is unethical and unfair. Also parents are worried about their children who play sports because they don't want them using steriods. Even though there are conflicting opinions on the matter, the only reasonable thing to so it bad these drugs permanently and create harsher punishments for those who use steriods. These penalties might even include a jail sentence, larger fines, greater suspensions and even being kicked out of the sport that the athlete is involved in.
6.
With steroids, athletes can increase their strength insurmountable amounts within a very short time.
*With steriods, athletes can increase their strength within a very short time.
How can they now, with all this hype on steroids teenagers are going to want that edge too so they can get drafted into a professional sport.
*With all the hype of steriods, it is hard for teenagers to stay away from steriods if they want to be a professional athlete.
7.
I think the writer needs to uncomplicate some of his words, some of the words just do not seem like they are supposed to be where they are.
this article is about the steroid use in sports. The writer is against the use of steroids and think they should be banned and the users should get harsh punishment. The article hooks my attention because sports is what everybody watches and we want entertainment so the people want to know should be ban steroids or not. For the intro i think you have a college student type of sentence authorities, high ranking officials are those 2 the same? and the part where you start talking about the parents with the kid i think you just need to put in something that says the kids look up to the players and might fallow them.
ReplyDeleteThe writers arguments are that steroids are cheating, not ethical, and kids are going to be influenced by older players.
The writers counterarguments are they bring up ratings in sports, and help players enhance performance.
I don't think you deal with the opposition too well. Because that sentence with more rating and how steroids help certain players perform better kind of goes against you. Maybe bring up how bad it is to their health and that's why they shouldn't do it. Your strong points are the kids because that influences kids and the kids can get seriously hurt. Your weak points i believe are they help enhance performance because to me that's going against you since people want to be entertained and if it helps them enhance then allow them.The article written in an effective way. An argument you should use is that even tho it helps enhance performance but at what cost to the persons health is that worth the entertainment. A counterargument you can use is it makes certain athletes equal to some that are just born with talent.
Your thesis sentence is very good but i think you should change it so it says your view in it as well. Like Steroids in sports, is a very controversial issue due to the fact its unfair to non-steroid using athletes. Something like that.
Everything is basically good with the structure of it but just bring up health topic of steroid use, and reword the thesis.
The essay is about sports players using steriods. The writer is against the use of steriods. The writer hooks my attention is because players who uses steriods are actaully cheating and it is not fair to other players. I think you thesis statement is not clear enough. a combination of the first sentence and the fifth sentence would be a good thesis.
ReplyDeleteArguments
steriods are used to as a way to cheat
setting a bad example for kids
counter-arguments
helps the players in sports with their performance
i dont think the writer has a good opposition, i only found one counter-argument but that should be no reason why someone should cheat like every game, it should be played fair.
strong point is when athletes use steriods it is unethical and unfair. the weak point in the essay will be the oppositions. i dont see other people, than the athletes who would agree that steriods are good.
the essay is orgainzed
Using performance drugs liek steriods can also hurt the athletes as well, they can become addicted to it and they would be using it when it is not necessar.
Thesis "The use of Steroids and other performances drugs should be ban because it is huge controversial issue among the sports athletes."
Steroids in sports have a very controversial issue because there are so many athletes who use these performance-enhancing drugs
"Steroids is a drug that causes many issues, because it is used by the athletes to enhance their performance."
Penalties that even reach a governmental level can be in store for the player who decides to take illegal substances of this extent
"Players who decides to take illegal substance will be penalized severely by the government."
i think it will be diffcult for you to find counter-arguments about using steroids will be a good thing.
Joanna Zyznowski
ReplyDelete1A. This essay will be about the complete banning of steroids.
1B. The writer is against steroid use.
1C. The writer introduces the reader to the drug and what its purpose is, then goes on to make his opinion clear and what should be done to those who use steroids, which grabs attention of those reading.
1D. Most of the introduction includes the different point of views of people on the issue of steroid use(stating who is for it and who is against it)when the only real opinion of the writer matters. He should go in depth about his opinion on the topic so that the essay interests readers even more.
2.
-Steroid use is unethical and unfair, which is why it should be banned.
-Steroid use is a form of cheating.
-Sports were meant to keep children away from bad behavior, like the use of any kind of drug.
3.
-Steroid use increases speed, energy, endurance, agility, strength, and power.
-'A better player makes the crowd happier.'
4A. The writer doesn't have many counterarguments which makes it harder for him to deal with any opposition at all. Rather than dealing with the counterargument that he does include (about steroids enhancing performance to make for a better player), he uses a "on one side, on the other side" method instead.
4B. The writer's strongest point in the essay is explaining why steroid use is wrong, why it should be banned, and what should be done to those who use the drug. By explaining why the use of the drug is unfair to the game, it draws the reader to his side of the argument.
4C. The writer's weakest points:
Thesis is unclear because by the way the thesis is written, the writer seems unsure about his argument. He should make his point and state his opinion on the topic right from the beginning.
4D. Instead of separating the argument and counterargument into different paragraphs, the writer should directly, but briefly state why he is against the counterargument which should then lead into a new body paragraph with his argument.
4E. Steroid use may enhance performance, but it also includes many side effects, such as health risks as well as dangerous effects, like roid rage.
4F. One should be allowed to do whatever one desires with his or her own body. This counterargument can follow along with the counterargument of steroid use increasing a person's strength, endurance, etc. If a person wants his performance playing sports enhanced, he/she should be allowed to do what he or she wants with his/her body to earn that enhancement.
5. The use of steroids should be banned permanently because it deceives the game, and harsher punishments should be placed on those who engage in such an activity.
6.
"Steroids in sports have a very controversial issue because there are so many athletes who use these performance-enhancing drugs."
-Steroids are causing a great controversy in the world of sports because of the large amount of athletes who experiment with them to enhance their performance.
"With steroids, athletes can increase their strength insurmountable amounts within a very short time."
-By using steroids, athletes can increase their strength to levels that are difficult to reach within a very short amount of time.
7.
"One side states that steroids are the new and enhanced formula for peek performance while the other side states that steroids are unethical as well as unfair."
-Who is representing the two sides?
"Then there’s the parent side that’s worried about their children who play sports because they don’t want them taking these performance enhancement drugs either."
-"Parents are also worried about their childre who play sports..."
-There aren't any statistics. How will you include statistics?
"...which will positively reinforce them to never d it again."
-"...which will positively force them to never do it again."